A Case of Macho Stupidity

Even though I’m a “new age, modernist, supportive of all everything kind of guy”, sometimes my age-defining curse of machismo involuntarily takes control of my brain and any semblance of common sense. Case in point:
It’s our last night in Mexico and I’m sitting at a beautiful beach bar enjoying a great cocktail.
So far, so good. I get hungry and order some chips and pico de gallo. No problemo...It arrives, I taste it...very good, but only a little spicy ????.
Here is where I should of just shut-up and enjoyed my cocktail and appetizer. BUT NOOOO, male stupidity kicks in and I say to the bartender...”Have you got anything spicier?” He starts to hand me a recognizable bottle of
Tabasco sauce and then it’s on. What possesses me to say “Oh no senor, THAT IS FOR BABIES???” The two bartenders take this as a personal affront and challenge to their spice-loving culture and say “un momento senor” and go see their buddy in the kitchen. I now realize the fragility of my situation and sense danger, but the dormant macho gene is in full regalia and puffing out my chest I’m thinking “Bring it on - how bad could it be?” Well of course the two bartenders and most of the kitchen staff parade out, smile and place this vicious looking green concoction in front of me before proudly uttering the one word all of us lightweight spice-lovers fear above all others ...”Habanero”.
So let me set the scene...me, one wicked green dish and 5 staff members smiling garishly at me. Of course I’m out of options, but I try to prolong life and casually say to the bartender.. “Senor..un vaso de aqua por favor”. At that point, time’s up and everyone in the restaurant is seemingly chanting for a display of manhood....
It wasn’t a pretty sight, I did my best to uphold the macho code, dove in scooped several chips deep in the bowl, tried to smile through my tears and saying “Muy bueno” - all the while inwardly cursing my pride and stupidity and hoping that we still had a BIG bottle of Tums in the room. Que Sera....